Party with the Akatsuki!
by Tugboats
Summary: The Akatsuki are minding their own business...until they're forced to attend a PARTY! Expect extreme OOCness, a bit of bashing, and a lot of sugar.
1. It All Begins

Author's Note: Beware...insane things ahead...Just so you know, Rayne is kinda based off me, Ace is kinda based off my friend, Takaya is my goofy original character, and Ryuu is Ace's extremely dim-witted and goofy original character. And Ebonie is also based on one of my friends. Maisha and Karahamuke are her original characters. And Nao, who shows up a LOT later, is also my character.

This belongs to me, Ace, and Ebonie. We all wrote it together.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show Naruto or any of its characters. I own Rayne, Takaya and Nao. I do not own Ace, Ryuu, Ebonie, Maisha, or Karahamuke. Ebonie, Maisha, and Karahamuke don't show up in this chapter, but they will eventually.

WARNING: EXTREME OOC-ness. Do NOT, do NOT, do NOT read this if you like characters acting like themselves. There is even a bit of bashing in here.

-:-

It was a normal day in the top-secret hideaway of Rayne, Takaya, Ace, and Ryuu. Until Ryuu, redheaded Ryuu, clad in her light blue top and coordinating pants and mouth mask, picked up the phone.

"Hi, is Shark Dude there?" she asked.

"You mean Kisame?" the guy on the phone asked.

"No, not Kisame, SHARK DUDE. That's S-H-A-R-K D-U-D-E," Ryuu spelled.

"Are you talking about Deidara?"

"No, not Deidara, he's a jerk," Ryuu said disgustedly.

"Kisame isn't here."

"What? Shark Dude's not here?" Ryuu screamed into the phone.

"He's at another party," they said meekly.

"He's at ANOTHER party? Well, you can tell Shark Dude I'm gonna kidnap a fish if he doesn't come!"

A different girl came in. This one had a messy brown ponytail covered by a pilot's helmet. She had paired a brown jacket with baggy gray pants, and left her feet bare.

"Ryuu!" the girl, known as Ace, hissed as she heard Ryuu's threat. "Stop blackmailing the Akatsuki!"

"It's not blackmailing," Ryuu said, rolling her eyes, as if she couldn't believe how dumb Ace was. "It's just holding a fish for ransom!"

Ace's eyes lit up at Ryuu's statement.

"Oh, okay, hold as many fish for ransom as you want," she said sweetly. Then, lowering her voice to a whisper, she added, "but my innocent face won't save you this time..."

They were interrupted as their door was oh-so-rudely broken down by none other than Kisame.

"WERE YOU THE ONE HOLDING THE FISH FOR RANSOM???" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Shark Dude came!" Ryuu said, clapping her hands eagerly. "Sorry, though. We have no fish." Then, looking over Kisame's shoulder, she gasped. "Hey! I told the dude on the phone not to let Deidara come!"

"I _was_ the one on the phone," Deidara snapped.

"Oh yeah," Ryuu said, still looking confused. "Guess who else I invited? Other than the other members of the Akatsuki, of course."

Gaara then walked into the room, looking like he didn't want to be there. He spotted Deidara.

"You!" he hissed.

"Oh crap—" Deidara muttered.

"We still have a score to settle, don't we?" Gaara asked menacingly, punching his hand for good measure.

"Let's not get hasty," Deidara said, holding his fingers in a cross to try to ward off Gaara.

Sadly, Gaara was not warded off by the cross, and began punching Deidara.

Ryuu sat on a nearby bench, grinning at the fight and eating some potato chips.

Zetsu waddled over to her. "Can I have some?" he asked.

Ryuu stared at him for a few seconds as she decided whether or not to give him chips. "I can't bonk you because you might take my hand off," she stated. "So, I'll give you a chip if you say the magic word OR give me a puppy dog face superior to that of Ace's..." she bargained with a silly grin.

Zetsu turned away for a second. When he turned back around, his face was contorted into what he obviously thought was a puppy dog face.

Ryuu froze in place, appearing to be holding back bile. "Just...have the whole bag," she gasped, handing it over to him.

Takaya chose that moment to come in and sit down with Ryuu. They looked kinda funny together, since Takaya had short purple hair and wore a black tank top, black cargo pants, and black boots.

"I want chips!" she chirped eagerly, with a grin as silly as Ryuu's had been.

Orochimaru tiptoed in, obviously trying not to be spotted by Rayne, or worse, by Takaya.

"Omigosh! You made it!" Takaya said eagerly, getting ready to glomp him.

"I had to come," Orochimaru grumbled. He held up an invitation. It was NOT a nice invitation. It was covered in crayon and glitter, and read, "Coom 2 Mie Partee."

"This invitation told me that I needed to come, or I'd get eaten by a snake that had toes instead of eyes."

"But snakes love you!" Takaya said, clapping her hands to the side of her face.

"Omigosh! Shhhhhhhhh!" Rayne yelled, barreling over, clad in her red top, black vest, matching black jeans, and flip flops. Her silver hair was askew, as were her glasses.

"Don't reveal the plot of our manga yet!" she yelped, clapping her hand over Orochimaru's mouth.

"Tuingdf rgfnu rfhujg," he mumbled through Rayne's hand. Rayne stared at him for a second, and then started laughing.

"Oh. I thought you just said 'doing rug Ryuu,' but you weren't right?"

"You idiot! Ryuu isn't a rug!" Takaya yelled, bonking Rayne on the head.

"Hey!" Rayne yelled. "I'm the authoress!"

"So?" Takaya asked.

"I'm writing this!"

"So?"

"I can make you do weird stuff!" Rayne finished with an evil laugh.

Everyone stared for a second.

"So?" Takaya asked a few minutes later.

As they were about to start fighting, the door slammed open.

"Freeze!" Rayne bellowed.

Gaara froze in place with his fist inches from Deidara's eye.

Kisame froze in place as he walked to the bowl of fruit-flavored punch.

Ryuu froze in place, as did the projectile vomit that was flying towards Zetsu's cloak.

Zetsu froze in place as he took a bite out of his millionth chip that minute.

Itachi strode in with a proud smile on his face.

Everyone simply stared at him. Ryuu and Takaya even started booing.

"Didn't your mommies tell you? It's not polite to stare!" Itachi nagged.

Everyone's unfrozen jaws dropped.

"Alright, kids, you all need to line up for a hug!"

"Excuse me, Deidara, but I need to punch someone else," Gaara said, walking away from the very relieved Deidara.

"Oh, Orochimaru!" Itachi exclaimed. "You're here! Now let me give you a hug..."

"I wouldn't do that none no," Ryuu said to Itachi, not noticing that her words made no sense whatsoever.

"Zetsu!" Ace yelled out.

"Erf?" Zetsu replied, looking confused.

"You have barf all over you!" Ace screamed back.

"So what?" Zetsu asked.

"The bathroom is over there!" Ace finished, pointing towards the restroom.

Zetsu merely stared at her bemusedly.

Ace was still pointing to the bathroom, even though Rayne hadn't told her to freeze.

"So, got any more chips?" Zetsu asked the frozen Ace.

Kisame stood at the bowl of punch, surrounded by a crowd of random, non-Akatsuki girls.

"So, after I defeated him, he was all, 'You haven't seen the last of me!' And I was all, 'That's was you think...'"

The girls giggled at Kisame's story and gazed at him lovingly.

Ryuu wandered over and gasped.

"Omigosh! Are you telling the story about the time you flushed your rubber duck down the toilet?"

The girls stopped giggling appreciatively and gazed questioningly at Kisame.

**Meanwhile, back on the other side of the room...**

"Whatever. Bye, Rayne," Takaya said, bonking Rayne on the head and leaving.

Rayne let out a scary-sounding giggle and snapped her fingers.

"On-second-thought," Takaya said in a robotic voice, "I-want-a-hug-from-Itachi. Holy crud, why on Earth did I say that?"

Rayne chuckled.

Itachi came over and glomped Takaya.

"HELP!" Takaya wailed.

Rayne clapped her hands together.

"I-love-you-Itachi," Takaya said mechanically. "Wait, huh?"

"I thought you loved me," Orochimaru mumbled.

"No-I-love-Itachi-now. Rayne, stop!"

"I will if you tell me the magic word."

Takayasighed and let out a chain of random words.

"Sorry! Try again!"

This time, Takaya started scatting, which was still gibberish.

"Good job!" Rayne said. "Now remember, kids. Powerplaying is bad. Just ask Takaya!"

**Meanwhile, back at the punch bowl...**

"No!" Kisame shouted. "I mean, no, of course not."

"And how you cried all night because you missed his lovable squeaking?" Ryuu cooed, leaning over into Kisame's face.

The girls rolled their eyes and walked away, muttering about how they hated fakers.

"Ryuu, I'm going to kill you," Kisame growled.

"That's what you don't think!" Ryuu said proudly. "...not...yes..." she mumbled, finally walking away with frustration.

**Meanwhile, back on the couch...**

Ace was still pointing to the bathroom.

"Can you at least tell me where the other chips are?" Zetsu asked.

"Not until you clean your cloak," Ace nagged.

"Aw man! You're like my mother," Zetsu muttered, walking over to the bathroom."

**Meanwhile, somewhere else...**

Sasori sat at a table.

"I don't even want to be here," he grumbled.

"Aw, don't be sad about it!" Itachi said, giving him a big hug.

_I wish I had my puppets_, Sasori thought. _Then I could attack him with them!_

**Meanwhile, back with Takaya...**

"You're my best friend!" Takaya said to Orochimaru, eagerly grinning.

"Okay then. Goodbye," Orochimaru muttered, leaving.

"Darn, he left," Takaya mumbled. "I know! I think I'll spike the punch! But do I have anything to spike it with?"

Takaya looked through her bag.

"I have cheese puffs, regular cheese, cookies, chips, fruit juice, pickles, some weird bottle with a skull and crossbones on it, and nails."

"Use the bottle with a skull a crossbones on it!" Rayne whispered in her ear.

"Thanks for the tip, Rayne! I won't use the pirate juice!" Takaya said eagerly as she tossed the bottle out the window.

"I don't think I'll use the cheese puffs, cheese, cookies, chips, pickles, or nails, either," she added, tossing those out the window. Finally, she took her fruit juice and dumped it in the punch.

"I spiked the punch!" she crowed.

"Takaya, this is fruit punch," Rayne mumbled as she tried not to laugh.

**Meanwhile, back with Itachi...**

"Awwwwwww. Is a certain Orochimaru sad because a certain girlfriend dumped him?"

Orochimaru stared at him.

"It's okay. Here, let me hug you."

"Gack."

**Meanwhile, in the bathroom...**

Zetsu stood at the sink and started washing off his cloak.

Ryuu strutted into the bathroom, whistling.

"Erk!" Zetsu yelled. "Ryuu, this is the guys' bathroom!"

"It's a bathroom, isn't it?" Ryuu asked. "Besides, I gotta go."

"Just don't go on my cloak..."

Deidara walked into the bathroom angrily.

"Man, that Gaara, punching me and whatnot. I mean, all I did was try to kidnap the guy!"

From the bathroom stall, Ryuu shouted, "People find that pretty offensive!"

Deidara ignored her. "Ugh, I have to repaint my toenails. Hey Zetsu, will you do it for me?"

"Er...no," Zetsu said bluntly. Deidara gave him a puppy face. "Okay, fine, I'll do your nails, but you have to hug Itachi before he hugs you," Zetsu said with a grin.

Deidara crossed his arms. "Nail polish isn't worth hugging a crazed Itachi."

"Even if I...DARED YOU?" Zetsu bargained, leaning over to Deidara.

Deidara shook his head.

"You're no fun," Zetsu grumbled, looking away.

Ryuu popped out of her bathroom stall with a grin and started washing her hands. "I'll hug Gaara!" she announced.

"Are you sure?" Deidara asked. "He likes to punch, you know."

"He likes punch?" Ryuu asked. "Thanks for the tip, dude with a ponytail!"

"Come to think of it, you do look kinda weird with a ponytail..." Zetsu said, rubbing his chin.

"Shut up!" Deidara yelled. "The chicks dig the ponytail."

"Coming from a guy with mouths on his hands..." Zetsu muttered, walking out.

**Meanwhile, back with Itachi...**

Itachi merrily hopped around the room, hugging every single person and every single piece of furniture he laid his eyes upon. That included Gaara.

Gaara grabbed Itachi's shirt and glared at him.

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaara!" Ryuu cooed. "I got you some punch!" As Ryuu made her way to Gaara, she tripped over Kisame, spilling her (spiked, but not spiked) punch into Itachi's eyes.

"Gack! My eyes!" Itachi yelled. "Does anyone have eye drops?"

"Here," Sasuke said.

"Hey, thanks!" Itachi said eagerly.

Sasuke punched him in the face.

**Meanwhile, back with Takaya...**

Shikamaru filled his glass with punch and took a sip.

Takaya let out several high, squeaky giggles.

"What is it this time?" Shikamaru groaned. "Did Ryuu's pants fall down?"

"Nope!" Ryuu screamed in the background. "I fastened them on with duct tape!"

"Then why exactly are you laughing?" Shikamaru testily asked Takaya.

"You drank the punch!" Takaya cackled merrily, doing a goofy little victory dance across the floor.

"...your point?" Shikamaru asked through clenched teeth.

"I spiked the punch!" Takaya said, flinging her arms in the air.

"She spiked the punch?" a voice yelled. "Oh no!"

"Was that Naruto?" Takaya asked Shikamaru.

"I guess. Anyway, what did you spike the punch with?"

"Fruit juice! Hahahahaha!" Takaya laughed triumphantly.

"Uh...Takaya?" Shikamaru said, trying to hold back laughter.

"What is it, _la stupida_?" Takaya asked snootily.

"First, I'm not a girl. Second, this punch is FRUIT FLAVORED."

"Exactly!" Takaya said, as if the answer was obvious. "I made you guys suffer from a fruit overload!"

"Whatever," Shikamaru muttered. As he tried to walk away, he was stopped as his head transformed into a pineapple a la that certain brand of fruit snacks.

"I tried to tell them," Takaya said, exasperatedly shaking her head. "But those goofs just didn't listen."

"Hi, Takaya!" Ryuu yelled, frantically waving her arms in the air.

Gaara watched Itachi and Sasuke beating each other up.

Ace ran to the front of the room and started banging on pots and pans.

"We're gonna watch a movie, so everyone—SHUT UP."

Everyone ignored her instructions and proceeded to get louder.

"SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!" Ace bellowed at the top of her lungs.

Everyone got quiet.

"Thanks, guys!" Ace said, popping the video into the VCR.

"In a world of ninjas..." an announcer droned, "only one stands out the most. His name is...Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Hey!" Ryuu whined. "What happened to the video I put together about Gaara!"

Naruto started snickering.

Beside him, Gaara also started snickering.

"I think this TV is broken," Takaya announced, smacking the screen with a sledgehammer. "So, if you squint, Naruto looked kinda like Gaara!"

"He _really _doesn't," Orochimaru mumbled.

"Uh, just get me some cheese while I put in a new movie. EVERYONE NEEDS TO ZIP THEIR LIPS."

Despite Takaya's orders, everybody started screaming.

"I have a sledgehammer!" she yelled.

That fact made everybody zip their lips.

Well, ALMOST everybody...

"Hey, Takaya, my zipper broke!" Naruto called out.

"You get expelled!" Takaya bellowed. The security guards proceeded to kick Naruto out of the party.

"So, here's our new movie," Takaya said, popping a new video into the VCR. "_Bambi_!"

Ryuu clapped her hands eagerly. "Yay for deer!" she cheered.

"Deer suck," Kisame grunted.

Ryuu gasped with shock. "You suck!" she countered.

"Do not."

"Do too!"

"Shut up, I'm trying to watch _Bambi_!" Zetsu yelled. "If you don't be quiet, I'll eat you both!"

Ryuu and Kisame cut their argument short. In other words, they shut up.

"Hey, does anyone have some tape? My hands won't shut up," Deidara commented.

Ace threw a shoe at him.

"Thank you!"

**Meanwhile, outside the party...**

"How come dogs aren't allowed?" Kiba complained.

"You complain a lot," Naruto commented.

"At you got inside!" Kiba whined.

"Ooh, did I?" Naruto said.

"Yeah...you did..."

**Meanwhile, inside the party...**

"I just want to hug Bambi!" Itachi declared.

"I just want to punch you!" Gaara countered.

"Geez, don't you know Bambi is a HORSE? Sheesh, everyone knows that the yellow guy from _Spirit _is a deer, not BAMBI. Morons..." Takaya ranted.

"Takaya! I got cheese," Orochimaru said.

"Ew, I don't want this. It has holes in it!" Takaya whined.

"It's Swiss cheese, Takaya. It's supposed to have holes."

"But I don't want holey cheese!"

A random guy walked over.

"What's wrong with holy cheese, man?"

"I said HOLEY, you idiot," Takaya said, bonking him. She was struck by lightning. "Wheeeeeeeeee! I'm glowing!"

"See? The holy cheese is angry with you, man," he said warningly.

"Hey dude, shut up and let me watch _Bambi_!" Zetsu yelled. He too was struck by lightning.

"Uh..." Itachi mumbled. He was also struck by lightning.

"Striking people with lightning isn't all too holy, 'man.' Now stop so we can watch the movie," Shikamaru snorted. "Wait...AAAAAAH!"

Takaya, Zetsu, Itachi and the random guy jumped up. "April Fools!" they shouted happily.

"That was a long time ago," Shikamaru scoffed. A bowling ball fell from the sky and hit him.

"Thanks, random dude with the holy cheese obsession!" Takaya said happily.

"But...it's NOT April Fool's Day?" Zetsu sniffled.

"No," Ryuu sobbed. Everyone acted like it was totally normal for her to sob over a holiday.

"Shoosh!" Itachi hissed. "Let me watch the horse!"

"Sorry," Zetsu said. He leaned over to Gaara. "Do you know where the popcorn is?"

Gaara shook his head.

"Too bad," Gaara said, leaning over to Ryuu. "Do YOU know where the popcorn is?"

"You eat too much," Ryuu complained.

Off in the corner, Deidara was doing...something.

"Deidara, what are you doing?" Kisame scoffed.

"Shoosh!" Deidara said. "I love Bambi so much that I made a Bambi model out of clay!" He smiled a big cheesy smile.

Tobi ran in, panting.

"Fwee!" Ryuu squealed. "It's Swirly Face!"

"Man, it was hard to find this place."

"Pumpkin!" Ryuu said delightedly.

"Shoosh!" Zetsu told them. "It's a very intense moment!"

Tobi sat down. "I love this movie!"

Takaya's cell phone rang. "Bobba-boo? Oh, hi. Yeah, I'll tell them." She snapped her phone shut. "Mrs. Muffin says you guys need to give her your popcorn so she can make popcorn muffins."

"And why can't she buy her own?" Gaara muttered.

"Well, Mrs. Muffin is a hobo," Takaya declared proudly. "She uses fire powers to make muffins and make money."

"Cliché to the core, dude," Rayne said, rolling her eyes.

"Fine then!" Takaya huffed. "Mrs. Muffin won't invite you to her tea party now!"

Rayne's face fell. "Please invite me!" she begged. "I'll give you anything!"

"How about some emo-looking wings?" Takaya suggested.

"Eh, what the hey," Rayne said, snapping her fingers.**  
**

Takaya sprouted a beautifully emo pair of wings. "Okay, now you can come. I'M THE FLYING EMO!" Takaya then proceeded to jump out the window.

"Yeah, she's finally gone!" a random guy (but not the random guy with the holy cheese) yelled. Rayne looked over. Her eye started twitching.

"Why is Kuwabara here?" she hissed.

"She scares me," Orochimaru mumbled.

"AAAAAH!" Kuwabara screamed.

Ace wandered over to see what was going on. "ZOMG! How did Kuwabara get in here? THIS IS A NARUTO FIC!"

"Haven't you heard of crossovers?" Deidara asked, snapping his fingers.

Ace ignored him. "Quick! Zetsu! Food!" She started pointing at Kuwabara repeatedly.

"Is it bread?" Zetsu asked.

"It's as smart as bread," Ace scoffed.

Zetsu smiled. "I like bread..." With that, he started chowing down on Kuwabara.

Ryuu watched with a big grin. "...erk...eeeeew..."

"You know, that wasn't as good as I thought it would be," Zetsu commented. Then the movie ended.

"Argh!" Tobi yelled. "I missed the whole thing!"

-:-

Note: Is it terrible? Is it stupid? Is it cliché? Please tell me so. Not that it would change much, since I'm modifying this from a goofy roleplay that Ace, Ebonie and I started way back in April. Chapter two should come up as soon as I can modify it, since it was originally in script format and extremely illiterate.

If you want to tell me how un-funny and annoying Rayne and Takaya are, just comment.

If you want to LOL at how awesome Ace and Ryuu are, go on Neopets and Neomail acepuma.

Coming Soon: Day Two—The Aftermath of the Party!


	2. The Aftermath of the Party

Note: Wow...three pages back after like an hour...so the only way to get this story noticed is to UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! And the wonderful Ebonie and wonderful Karahamuke and scary Maisha appear in this chapter. Thanks, Ebonie!

**In the morning, it's...THE AFTERMATH OF THE PARTY??? OH NOES!**

Zetsu was sleeping. 

Itachi was ambling around, his head covered by a dirty lampshade. He tripped over...everything.

Deidara was in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet. "I knew I shouldn't have had that last bag of popcorn," he muttered.

Kisame was sleeping soundly...in the punch bowl. Which was still "spiked."

Tobi was sitting in a chair, snoring really loudly. I'm talking MEGA LOUD.

Ryuu stood next to a dying radio, with a droopy grin. "Let's...get da...party...blegh...started..." she slurred, falling over backwards.

Gaara burped. "Has anyone seen my gourd? It's about this tall..." 

Kankuro woke up. "What the hell am I doing here? I didn't fall asleep here last night! What the...?" he grunted, seeing that he was tied to a chair.

Sasori snickered at Kankuro's discontent, and then fell on his face. 

Ace was sleeping on top of the also sleeping Zetsu.

**  
**Zetsu woke up. "Eh? Whe' a' I? 'dis i' worse den' da' ti' Ita'ee pu' a sti'ee no' on ma' fo'hea'."

His words woke Ace up. "Nuh-WUH?" she asked, slapping him across the face.

"Thanks," Zetsu said. "As I was saying, this is worse than the time Itachi put a sticky note on my forehead and I couldn't see what I was typing!"

"You had a pretty weird screen name on that forum," Ryuu giggled, magically becoming coherent.

"...please not in public, Ryuu," Zetsu groaned.

"The..." Ryuu giggled.

"No!" Zetsu said.

"Flower..." Ryuu laughed.

"Stop!" Zetsu yelled.

"MAN!" Ryuu said, falling over in a fit of hysteria.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Zetsu moaned.

"I'd pat you on the head, but I want to keep my hands, so I'll just pat you on the back," Ace said, patting him on the back sympathetically.

"Kankuro, you shouldn't say bad words," Kisame said, belching.

"So it's settled. We all got drunk off of soda and ice cream, didn't we?" Ace said.

"Isn't it sugar high, then?" Rayne asked. Everyone ignored her and started talking. 

"Yeah...yup...I'm gonna bite something...shut up Deidara...I wasn't talking...Flower Man...stop...yeah." everybody slurred at once.

Ace sniffed. "That's so cute."

"Can someone PLEASE untie me?" Kankuro snapped.

"Only if you give me a puppet show when we get back to the sand," Gaara insisted.

"Why?"

"Because I can make you. I _am _the Kazekage, you know."

"He was about to say the d-word!" Kisame gasped.

"Dog?" Ryuu asked from her position on the floor.

"I'm pretty sure it was duck," Kisame countered. 

Without taking of the lampshade, Itachi gasped. "He said it!"

Meanwhile, Takaya was dancing next to the radio, which was blasting at full volume. "Yeah! Come on, guys, let's get the party started!"

"We're tired," Orochimaru grumbled.

"No we aren't!" Takaya shouted gleefully. "Come on, guys! MOSH PIT!"

Everybody magically perked up. "MOSH PIT!" they echoed.

Takaya scampered to the table and threw the punch bowl into the mosh pit. "Oh no! The punch was sucked up by the mosh pit!"

"I was eaten by the mosh pit!" Kisame exclaimed.

"Quick, Ryuu!" Takaya said, beckoning Ryuu over. "We must save Kisame, or my name isn't Tak—ooh, cheese!"

"...your name isn't Takoohcheese," Orochimaru commented.

"Oh," Takaya said. "I guess I'm not saving Kisame." With that, she scooped up her wheel of white cheddar cheese (1). "If anyone needs me, I'll be up here," she added, climbing into a chandelier.

Takaya landed on Neji, who was curled up in the chandelier and snoring.

"Get your own spot," Neji snarled, pushing Takaya out.

Takaya landed in the mosh pit with a thud. "Guys! Save me, or my name isn't Tak—ooh, a piece of cake!" she squeaked, grabbing a random piece of red velvet cake (2) off the floor.

"Is her name Takoohapieceofcake?" Shino asked Orochimaru, who was rolling his eyes at Takaya's latest act of stupidity.

"Nope," Orochimaru said, walking away.

"Guys! Go on without me!" Kisame hollered, sinking into the mosh pit.

"Okay," Ryuu said, preparing to walk into the guys' bathroom again.

"I was being dramatic!" Kisame whined.

"Alrighty, guys, I'm going in," Ryuu said, tying herself onto a table and jumping into the mosh pit. "Wait!" she yelled, climbing out. "I forgot my trusty sidekick." Ryuu grabbed Zetsu and prepared to jump back in.

"I thought Gaara was your sidekick," Zetsu mumbled.

"No, he's my boyfriend," Ryuu explained.

"WHA—AT?" Gaara asked, looking shocked.

"Come, Zetsu!" Ryuu yelled, pulling him into the mosh pit with her.

"Whee!" Zetsu squeaked.

"Kisame!" Ryuu hollered. 

Itachi wandered by with his trusty lampshade, tripping over Kisame.

"Oof! Help!" Kisame yelled.

"There he is!" Ryuu shouted, grabbing his cloak and pulling him back out.

"Whew," Kisame said. "That was close."

Ryuu looked extremely annoyed. "That's it? No 'thank you' or 'you can kill Naruto with my big sword'?""

Zetsu and Kisame were silent.

**Meanwhile, back with Takaya, who managed to escape the mosh pit without Ryuu and Zetsu...**

Takaya sat in the corner, reading a book.

"Takaya can read?" Orochimaru asked, looking as shocked as Gaara did when Ryuu declared he was her boyfriend.

"Mm-hmm! It's a great book," Takaya explained. "There's this boy, and he hangs out with all these animals, and—"

"You're reading one of those nature-y books?" Orochimaru asked.

"Nope!" Takaya said, looking proud.**  
**

Shino grabbed the book out of her hands. "_Winnie the Pooh_?"

"Yeah!" Takaya said. "I like everyone except for Rabbit, since he's mean." (3)

"Me too!" Rayne squealed. "I like Pooh the best."

"He's FAT," Takaya said proudly.

"Yay!" Rayne shouted, and she started dancing with Takaya.

"This party is rocking!" Takaya yelled. "But it's missing something..."

"A Disney movie?" Rayne offered.

"Yeah!" Takaya shouted, popping _The Little Mermaid _into the VCR.

Sasuke watched Naruto pound on the door. "Hah, a perfect opportunity to get my Mangekyo Sharingan."

"Brother!" Itachi squealed, giving him a big hug.

"You're drunk," Sasuke grumbled. "Oh well," he added, stabbing Itachi.

"That's not very neighborly, Sasuke," Itachi lectured, flicking his forehead. "Forgive me. And it's also called sugar high, little bro."

"I hate it when you do that," Sasuke grumbled.

Itachi grinned.

At that moment, three new people walked into the party. The first one was a girl, with blonde hair and blue eyes, which were covered by rectangular glasses. She was dressed quite oddly, in a peach-colored top, matching pants, an orange tutu and orange hand-sleeves.

"Itachi!" the girl (who was named Maisha) squealed, giving him a huge hug.

"Hug!" Itachi said happily.

The second new member was a guy, with a green suit similar to Rock Lee's, matching eyes, and green wavy hair.

"B-b-but..." he stuttered sadly. His name was Karehamuke.

"It's okay, Karehamuke," the other girl said cheerfully. "It's not like she'll go out with you or anything." Her name was Ebonie, and she was almost as funky-looking as Maisha. Her blonde hair was in a spiky pixie cut, drawing attention to her blindingly bright purple eyes, which, like Maisha's, were covered by glasses. She was dressed in a denim jacket, a pink skirt, and a purple top, which matched her sparkly purple shoes.

Karehamuke started crying.

"Itachi, will you marry me?" Maisha asked, batting her eyelashes and looking up at Itachi.

"Um, well, as long as Anko thinks I'm dead, sure!" he replied.

"Yay!" Maisha squealed.

"NUUUUUUUU!" Karehamuke moaned.

"Like, OMG!" Takaya shouted. "New peopizzles!"

"Please don't talk like that," Orochimaru grumbled at her.

"Shut up, Oro-shizzy-maru!" Takaya yelled, tripping over baggy pants that she was suddenly wearing. (4)

"Hehe," Rayne chuckled. "One time I was riding in a car, and a pair of pants randomly flew out of a car. We ran over them."

"I think those were Kiba's pants..." Takaya mumbled, pointing to Kiba, who was indeed in his underwear.

"My eyes! THEY BURN!" Rayne shouted.

"Tell your dad not to run over my pants," Kiba grumbled.

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen anytime soon," Rayne chuckled.

"Then Akamaru and I shall..." Kiba said menacingly.

"LOOK!" Takaya squealed. "IT'S A KITTY!" She then proceeded to give Akamaru a big fat hug.

Rayne sighed.

Back across the room, Ebonie took a swig of punch. "Yahoo!" she hollered.

Itachi was spinning Maisha around on the dance floor. "Whee! This is fun!" she squealed. Itachi dipped her, and she saw Neji. "OMG, it's that nerdy dude!"

Hinata shielded her eyes from Kiba.

Kiba blushed. "Ah, Hinata!" he said, running to the closet to get more pants.

"I-is he..." Hinata mumbled.

Kiba came back in wearing pants. He struck Naruto's signature flirting pose, complete with the goofy smile and hand behind his head. "Hey, Hinata!"

"Um, okay, Kiba-kun," Hinata mumbled.

"Kiba, there are track marks on your pants from the car," Shino snickered.

Hinata stopped blushing and nodded gently.

Kiba's entire face turned bright red.

Kisame walked over to Ebonie. "I wouldn't drink the punch if I were you."

Deidara leaned over. "He fell asleep in it," he whispered.

Ryuu spewed punch all over Itachi.

"Hey!" Itachi complained.

"I sowwy, Itachi-san," Ryuu whimpered.

"It's okay!" Itachi said, giving her a hug. Then he walked over to Maisha and gave _her _a hug.

"I feel so unloved..." Tobi mumbled.

"WHY?" Zetsu asked.

"Because no one is talking to me."

"WHY?"

"'Cause I only got one eye, and my face is orange. ORANGE!"

After a few seconds, Zetsu said, "WHY?"

"One second, Maisha," Itachi said, giving Tobi a hug. "Happy?"

"Scared..." Tobi mumbled.

Itachi hugged him harder. "Happy NOW?"

"Scarred for life..."

**Meanwhile, back with Takaya...**

"I love you, Zetsu!" Takaya squealed, giving Zetsu a big hug.

"I thought you loved me!" Orochimaru complained in a fit of OOC-ness.

"BUT ZETSU IS LIKE A BUG!" Takaya shouted. "Or something."

"If you're looking for bugs..." Shino mumbled.

"Bugs? Where? AAAH!" Rayne screamed, crashing into the wall.

"Don't drink the punch!" Takaya announced.

"Because I slept in it?" Kisame guessed.

"No!" Takaya said. "I spiked it! With _fruit juice_."

"How many times am I going to tell you this?" Neji groaned.

"Eleventy-seventy?" Takaya guessed.

"IT'S FRUIT-FLAVORED PUNCH!" Neji shouted.

"She should've put the poison in..." Rayne grumbled.

"Ahem! I believe it's called PIRATE JUICE."

"So..." Orochimaru mumbled, "why DID you put fruit juice in the punch?"

"So they will have a fruit overload!" Takaya proudly stated.

"We will not!" Neji said, drinking the punch. His head proceeded to turn into a bunch of grapes a la those fruit snacks that Shikamaru suffered from. (5)

"And Rayne thought I should've put the pirate juice in!"

Maisha wandered over. "Hey, it's the nerdy dude! And he's now a grape." she said to the newly grapy Neji.

"...nerdy?"

"WHY DO YOU LOOK BLIND?" Ryuu shouted at him.

"...what?"

"WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL?"

"...I don't."

"Cut your hair, dawg," Ryuu advised.

"Ryuu," Neji grumbled, poking her forehead. Ryuu fell over.

"That's not Ryuu..." Neji muttered. "It's a cardboard cutout."

Ryuu hopped out of nowhere. "Here I am!" she said cheerily.

Neji slapped his forehead.

**Meanwhile, back at the punch bowl...**

"This punch tastes weird," Zetsu complained.

"YO FACE IS WEIRD!" Ace countered.

"...okay." Zetsu said, walking over to Deidara. "So, what's up?"

"YO FACE IS UP!"

Zetsu ignored her. "So, any news on the Jinchuurikis?"

"YO FACE IS A JINCHUURIKI!"

Zetsu seemed annoyed, but he ignored Ace.

"No, we haven't heard," Deidara said. "Hey, aren't you the one who finds out that stuff?"

"YO FACE IS STUFF!"

"Please..." Zetsu whined. "Shut up."

"What?" Deidara asked.

"YO FACE IS WHAT!"

"Grrrr." Zetsu growled. "I'll see you later Deidara." He walked away and ran into Naruto. "Hey, how'd you get back in here?"

"It-it-it's not what you think!" Naruto stuttered. "I, uh, I..." he mumbled. Then, he farted.

"Oh gosh, that smells so bad!" Zetsu gagged.

"YO FACE SMELLS BAD!"

-:-

Note: Okay, you know the drill. Tell me what you think about the stuff involving Rayne and Takaya, and go on Neopets and Neomail acepuma for the stuff with Ace and Ryuu. If you want to laugh about how awesome Maisha is, just tell me and I'll pass the message on to Ebonie. Now, here are my footnotes.

(1) White cheddar cheese can actually be quite delicious. White cheddar popcorn and white cheddar Cheetos are yummy. But white cheddar Cheez-Its aren't as good.

(2) Red velvet cake is great. It's red, but it tastes like chocolate!

(3) I used to love _Winnie the Pooh _when I was a little kid. I know about it because, well, I remember it from when I was younger, and I played the Hundred Acre Woods level in Kingdom Hearts. D

(4) Yes, Takaya is from the Sound Village, because I wanted her to be able to know Orochimaru and stuff. The baggy pants and weird speech is from a goofy parody I wrote where Takaya first met Orochimaru. She strutted in wearing baggy pants and said, "Yo, whassup, Oro-shizzy-maru?" And she was chewing gum and it popped on her face, so Ryuu yelled, "GUM!" and grabbed it off her face and chewed it, and it popped. The process is basically never-ending.

(5) I don't know why I bash Shikamaru so much in this party (it's far from over). And I bash him in the second party, too (which I may not post since it's so off-topic). I guess I should stop, since I act exactly like Shikamaru so I'm basically bashing myself if I bash him.

-:-

Hope you liked it!


	3. Karaoke, Prank Calls and Whatnot

Note: My gosh, is there any way to get more than one review in the Naruto section? Geez, I don't know how all you people do it. PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE. puppy dog face

-:-

Roses are spiky

Violets are boring

I don't own the show _Naruto_

And my poem is so bad that Shikamaru is snoring

-:-

FEAR MY MEANINGLESS BASHING! Though I don't know why I like to bash him so much...For example, I had a dream last night where I tripped him and gave him a bloody nose. Why did I do that? Though I do a lot of weird stuff in my dreams...

-:-

"Day three!" Kisame yelled. "Day three! Day threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Zetsu kicked him in the shins. "Shut up, we're trying to sleep," he complained.

"Well, sorry," Kisame sniffed.

"That's okay," Zetsu said kindly.

Kisame blinked. "I'll never get used to him."

As Kisame stated that he would never get used to Zetsu, Ryuu snuck up behind Gaara and glomped him.

"You know that I don't sleep, right?" Gaara said.

"I know everything about you!" Ryuu said cheerily.

"Then you can't sneak up on me. Ever."

"Then what did I just glomp?" Ryuu asked, looking worried.

"A sand clone."

The sand crumbled, and Ryuu toppled to the floor. "Ryuu go boom!" she shouted cheerfully.

"Ryuu GONNA go boom if she doesn't shut up...yeah," Deidara mumbled sleepily.

"Aw," Ace whined. "Nobody's drunk off soda and ice cream this morning?"

"SUGAR HIGH!" Rayne screeched.

Itachi burped. "I might not...maybe be..." he said, burping again.

"You are," Ace confirmed. "Anyone else, say 'aye.'"

"I have an eye!" Ryuu yelled in Ace's ear.

"I was tied to a chair all night," Kankuro whined. "HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO GET DRUNK?"

"SUGAR HIGH!"

"You weren't," Gaara snorted, bonking him.

"I have another question," Kankuro said,

"GAWSH, DO YOU EVER SHUT UP?" Ryuu hormonally screamed.

"...sometimes," Kankuro mumbled. "Anyway, who tied me up in the first place?"

Gaara whistled nonchalantly.

Sasori filed his fingernails.

Ryuu sat on the floor playing with a pile of ropes. "WHEE!"

"Hey...this isn't my room!" Temari shouted.

"I'm not even from _Naruto_!" another girl yelled at the top of her lungs.

"SYDNEY?" Ace gasped. "HOW'D YOU GET OUT???" Ace pushed Sydney into a closet. "STAY THERE UNTIL THE MANGA IS DONE!" (1)

"Ew, it smells funny in here," Sydney complained.

"YO FACE SMELLS FUNNY!" Ace screamed.

"This party is dead," Deidara said.

"No it's not," Zetsu replied.

"Yeah, it kinda is," Kisame muttered.

"I agree with Kisame," Zetsu said.

"HUHWHA?" Ryuu asked.

"You can check out anytime you like," Ace said sweetly. Then, lowering her voice, she hissed, "but you can never leave!"

"Well, me and Maisha are gonna go get married," Itachi said. "Bye!" As he tried to leave with Maisha, they were poofed back inside.

"Welcome to the Chateau Akatsuki!" Ryuu chanted, prancing around them and throwing flower petals.

"Any time of year—" Zetsu said.

Itachi gasped. "It's, like, here!" he said, forgetting that he tried to leave.

"We have plenty of room at the Chateau Akatsuki!" Tobi exclaimed, dancing with Ryuu.

"What a pleasant surprise!" Ryuu gasped, twirling in circles and accidentally knocking over a table, which hit Sasuke on the head.

"I hope you brought your alibi," Gaara snorted.

"Ryuu's mind is Tiffany-twisted," Kankuro snorted from his chair.

"Luckily she doesn't have a Mercedes-Benz to run stuff over with," Orochimaru muttered.

"But she has a lot of pretty, pretty dudes, yeah," Deidara said casually.

"That are her friends! Believe it!" Naruto yelled, pumping his fist in the air.

"You aren't allowed to tell a story with us!" Ryuu complained, pushing him out.

"And she always tries to get them," Ace coughed the word "Gaara", "to dance in the garden."

"And they get some gnarly sweat," Itachi chuckled.

"I want a dance to remember," Ryuu pouted.

"But you don't even have a dance to forget," Gaara said bluntly. (2)

"But I wanna get married now!" Maisha complained.

"Maybe we should tie her up with Kankuro," Ebonie snorted. "She's not only drunk off soda and ice cream, but positively high."

"THAT'S STILL SUAGR HIGH!"

"Gah!" Karehamuke gasped. "It's the end of the world! She's being...NICE!"

"What, is it so impossible for me to be nice all of the sudden?" Maisha asked. Then she burped. "Oh. 'Scuse me."

"SHE SAID 'EXCUSE ME!'" Karehamuke shouted. Everyone could tell that he was spazzing out big-time.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was trying to beat up Itachi.

"Dude, Sasuke, I'm the only one who's allowed to hit on Itachi." I'll give you three guesses as to who said this.

Ebonie rolled her eyes.

Hinata walked by and gasped. "Naruto!" she said, twiddling her thumbs.

"Hey Hinata," said Shino, "has Kiba ever told you that he thinks Naruto is a very lucky man when you do that?"

Hinata's head jerked up.

Kiba looked over at them. "Huh?"

"Yes, I am very lucky! Believe it!" Naruto shouted. Then, he saw Sakura. "Sakura!"

Hinata looked confused and sad.

Ryuu wandered by. "Hey, hey, HEY!" she screamed. "Who let the pink in here?"

"You have red hair," Sakura scoffed.

"IT'S BETTER THAN PINK, YO."

Sakura sniffled.

"Haha," Ryuu laughed. "Yo, Naruto, don't even bother with Sakura. She's a wimp."

Itachi's phone rang. "Who iiiiiiiis it?" he sang. Then he frowned. "Look, dude, for once in my life I am a happy Itachi, and I don't care that our organization just took over Konoha!"

Everybody from Konoha basically gasped at once. "WHA—AT???"

"Yahoo!" Deidara shouted. "Go us, go us. Hey Zetsu, wanna dance with me?"

"No."

"You wouldn't paint my toenails, and now you won't dance with me?" Deidara sniffed. Nevertheless, he kept on dancing.

"I shall dance with you!" Kisame announced, dancing with Deidara as promised.

"Go us, go us!" they yelled.

"...dorks," Zetsu said, rolling his eyes.

"Live a little!" Tobi lectured as he danced with Kisame and Deidara.

"If only I cared," Sasori snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Loser," Kankuro snickered.

"Uh, yeah. I'm not the one tied to the chair, dude," Sasori chuckled.

Kankuro pouted, just as Ryuu jumped onto the dance floor and started wiggling her butt in everyone's faces.

"Ryuu, why are you dancing?" Zetsu asked, "You're not even in the Akatsuki!"

"I MAY NOT BE FROM THE AKATSUKI, BUT EVERYONE ELSE WAS DANCING, AND I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR!" Ryuu sobbed.

"What fools," Gaara snorted. "Dancing. Pah."

Ryuu dragged him onto the dance floor. "DANCE LIKE YOU GET TO CARRY A PEANUT ON YOUR BACK ALL DAY!"

"...I basically do," Gaara replied.

"HEY ZETSU WILL YOU DANCE WITH ME?" Takaya yelled.

No."

"PLEASE WITH CHEESE ON TOP?" Takaya begged.

"That depends," Zetsu negotiated. "What kind of cheese?"

Takaya looked in the OH BOY INSANELY HUGE pockets of her cargo pants. "Cheese in a can!"

"Nope," Zetsu said.

"Okay!" Takaya pouted, and then sprayed cheese all over the party.

"OW, MY EYE THAT ISN'T COVERED UP," Kakashi yelled.

"Ew, who let the old fart in here?" Takaya snorted, pushing him away.

"Akamaru wants cheese," Kiba said, holding Akamaru up to Takaya.

"Anything for a kitty that precious!" Takaya cooed, spraying cheese in Akamaru's mouth.

"Akamaru's not a ca—"

Akamaru barked. What he was trying to say was, "Will you give me more cheese if you say I'm a cat?"

"Maybe-paybe!" Takaya announced, somehow understanding him.

Akamaru barked, which translated to, "I'm a cat."

"Good boy!" Takaya said, giving Akamaru the whole can.

Akamaru barked happily and somehow sprayed cheese into his mouth.

"I'mz a good personz," Takaya said happily.

"Curse you and your ability to understand dog language!" Kiba snarled.

"I'm only twenty-six," Kakashi said to Ryuu, who didn't want to believe him.

"NO!" Ryuu yelled. "Everyone knows you're eleventy-six."

"Look who I brought!" Ace yelled, leading in Spirit the mustang.

Since Spirit rocks, he can talk. "W00t."

"IT'S A DEER," Ryuu screamed.

"WHERE?" Spirit asked.

"I forgot," Ryuu whined.

"Okay, so, Spirit, you can't poop on rugs."

"Okay."

"And under no circumstances are you allowed to drink the punch."

"Why not?" Spirit asked.

"I slept in it!" Kisame said proudly.

"He's got enuresis," Rayne explained.

"NO I DON'T, DAMMIT," Kisame yelled.

"So, who let the horse in?" Zetsu asked.

"DEER!" Ryuu yelled, looking like she was about to cry. Must've been puberty.

"...yeah," Zetsu mumbled.

"Pony rides!" Deidara squealed.

"I'm not a pony!" Spirit insisted.

Deidara hopped on his back. "Giddy-up!"

"I'm not going nowhere!" Spirit complained.

"Geez, Spirit, they love you!" Ace said curiously.

"Why?" Spirit asked.

Ace shrugged.

"You guys sure are getting worked up over a horse," Gaara scoffed.

"DEER!" Ryuu screeched.

"Uh...yeah," Gaara mumbled. "Anyway, I wanna ride him."

"Me first!" Zetsu yelled.

"Excuse me, but who is the Kazekage?" Gaara asked smugly.

"...you are. But who is in the Akatsuki that just took over Konoha?" Zetsu asked, pointing to himself.

"Sunagakure is better," Gaara sniffed.

"No."

"Yes."

They stayed that way until the next day.

"Day four, y'all," Spirit said to nobody in particular.

Deidara was sleeping on Spirit.

"Get off," Spirit grumbled, bucking him off.

Deidara flew into the wall and kept sleeping.

"This is boring," Gaara said, getting up to leave.

"Gaara! Wait!" Ryuu yelled. "If you try to leave, we'll have to tell another story!"

Gaara sat back down.

"Where is Zetsu-poo?" Takaya whined.

"Erm..." Zetsu mumbled from behind the bookshelf. "He's NOT behind the bookshelf."

"Okay, mystery voice, I won't look there," Takaya said happily. She started moving the sleeping bodies around as she looked for Zetsu (who's kinda hard to miss).

"Phew," Zetsu sighed with relief.

"The bookshelf talked!" Takaya gasped, striking some weird pose as she ran over to the bookshelf. "Hey, mystery voice lied! He said you WEREN'T behind the bookshelf!"

Zetsu coughed.

"Mystery voice isn't talking!" Takaya pouted. "Hit it, Ryuu! We're gonna tell another story...but with MUSIC!"

"Gack," Gaara groaned.

Ryuu started strumming an acoustic guitar. "I was walking on a dark highway in the desert. GAARA!"

"With some cool wind blowing in her hair," Gaara muttered.

"And I was, like, smelling COLITAS!"

"The smell was in the air," Gaara grumbled.

"So Ryuu looked in the distance!" Zetsu yelled.

"And she saw some sparkly light, yeah," Deidara said.

"Her head got fat and she was, like, blind," Itachi droned.

"So I needed to stop by the light!" Ryuu yelled.

"So then she just walked through the door," Gaara mumbled.

"And some bell rang or something," Zetsu muttered.

"So she was thinking—" Deidara said.

"That maybe it was heaven or something."

"But then she decided it was hell," Gaara stated.

"So she somehow lit a candle without torching the place," Zetsu said.

"And some person showed her the way through that place!" Itachi squealed.

"And she heard voices," Kisame said.

"And they, like, SAID SOMETHING!" Ryuu gasped.

"Keep the story going, Takaya!" Ace yelled.

"But I don't know this story," Takaya whined. "So, I'll tell a different one. I WAS REASONING WITH SOMEBODY. Whatever that means. BUT IT DIDN'T RHYME!!!" With that, she elbowed Orochimaru.

"So then she lost track of time, seasons, months, days, et cetera," Orochimaru boredly droned.

"She thought she was beaten down or something," Zetsu added.

"By men talking, but they didn't have ground or something," Shino grumbled.

"I COULDN'T SLEEP BENEATH TREES OF WISDOM, SO I NEVER GOT SMART!" Takaya sobbed.

"Because they got cut down...BY ME!" Orochimaru evilly cackled.

"I bet he has a forked tongue," Zetsu said, trying to look in Orochimaru's mouth.

"He's gonna make you bleed from inside out," Shino warned.

"What if Zetsu did it?" Takaya asked, recovering from her crying jag.

"And then lied about it?" Orochimaru added.

"I'll avenge those trees!" Zetsu yelled.

"Give them an eyeball or something," Shino muttered. (3)

"I have an ideeeeeeee-er!" Ryuu squealed.

"...what?" Gaara asked.

"...prank...calls..." Ryuu dramatically mumbled.

"W00t!" everybody shouted at once.

Everyone gathered over by the phone.

"Who we gonna call?" Ryuu asked.

"Ghostbusters!" Itachi screamed, looking proud.

"Nah, I have a cooler idea," Deidara said, whispering it to everyone.

"Good one," Gaara smirked.

"Let's, like, DO IT!" Ryuu yelled.

"This is gonna be great..."

"Happy Tobi!" Tobi squeaked.

Ryuu dialed the number and put it on speakerphone. "Shoosh, he's answering."

"Y'ello?" the Akatsuki leader (4) asked.

Kisame started breathing heavily into the phone.

"Who is this?" he demanded.

"YO FACE," Ace yelped.

Deidara banged his fist on the table as the Akatsuki leader demanded to know who it was...again.

"YO MOMMA," Ryuu rapped into the phone.

"MOM???" the leader hollered. "Ugh...Mom...it's not what you think...I'M NOT THE LEADER OF S-RANKED CRIMINALS!" Everybody burst out laughing. "WHAT IS TH—"

Ryuu hung up the phone.

"I hope he doesn't have Caller ID..." Kisame mumbled.

"Nobody has Caller ID anymore," Takaya scoffed. "I mean, dude, it's all about star-six-nine!" (5) As she said that, the phone rang. "OH CRAP HE DIALED STAR-SIX-NINE AND IS CALLING US BACK. Uh, hi Kuwabara, you want to talk to Rayne?" (6)

Rayne did that ever-popular throat-slashing motion.

"She'd love to, but she's cutting her head off," Takaya explained. "She can't talk now."

"At least you got rid of him," Rayne said. The doorbell rang.

"Kuwabara, what are you doing here?" Takaya asked.

"I will put Rayne's head back on her body!" Kuwabara yelled.

Rayne hid under the couch, with just her head sticking out.

Takaya looked over. "Uh...we lost her body." She slammed the door.

Right before she slammed the door on Kuwabara, Sir Leader crept in.

"OMGZ YOU CAN'T SEE HIS FACE." Ryuu gasped.

"And none of you know my name, either. Not even Ace. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed.

"I feel so sad..." Ace whimpered. "Me, one of the biggest Narutards on this planet, doesn't even know what the leader looks like or what his name is."

"Fwahaha."

"THAT IS WHY I LOOKED IT UP!" Ace yelled.

"NEH???"

"That's right. If I ripped your cloak off right now, it wouldn't even be a surprise," Ace cackled.

"Gack."

"Bad Tobi!" Tobi scolded. "Bad, bad, bad."

"WHY???" Zetsu asked.

"Because Tobi made a prank call on Sir Leader. Bad, bad, bad."

"Okay," Zetsu said.

"YOU WERE THE ONES WHO PRANK CALLED ME???" Sir Leader roared.

"OMG YOU ARE, LIKE, HOT," Ryuu squeaked. "BUT, LIKE, NOT AS HOT AS GAARA."

"I'm touched," Gaara said.

"This is boring," Sir Leader whined.

"WAIT!" Ace yelled. "Is it true you are known for your love of singing???"

"AND getting drunk on soda and ice cream?" Itachi added.

"SUGAR HIGH!"

"That depends..." Sir Leader murmured. "Do you HAVE ice cream and soda?"

Ryuu checked. "Yes!"

"Then from now on, I, (ZOMG-THIS-HAS-BEEN-BLOCKED-JUST-BECAUSE-WE-CAN-BLOCK-IT-OUT), am JOINING THIS PARTY!"

-:-

So, did you guys like this latest chapter? I get on sugar high a lot. That's why I interrupt everybody when they call it "drunk off soda and ice cream." Now, let's see those footnotes.

(1) Sydney is one of the characters from the OMG TOP SECRET manga Ace and I are writing together. I might post it on FictionPress if I feel like it, but for now, it's still OMG TOP SECRET.

(2) Okay, so guess which song this story was based off of. snort In the original, illiterate party, Ryuu and the gang sang the actual song, but since song lyrics are ZOMG NOT ALLOWED, I had to make it a story. If anybody can tell me what song it was, I'll give you...erm...whatever you want me to give you. It could be a cheese, a cookie, a review, basically anything.

(3) Okay, guess what this song is. :P Again, Takaya and her homedawgs sang the actual song, but since I'm not allowed to post songs, it had to be a story about Orochimaru/Zetsu destroying the trees of wisdom. Again, if you guess it, you get a cheese, a cookie, a review, or whatever else you want.

(4) Yes, I know he has a name, and yes, I know what his name is, but since Ace didn't tell me his name until the second party, I'm still just calling him Sir Leader, since I'm trying to change this party as little as possible.

(5) I love star-six-nine. :D

(6) It wasn't originally Kuwabara who called and asked to speak to me. It was originally this one guy I know in real life, but I couldn't use him because you guys don't know who he is. Simple as that.

-:-

Next chapter will be a little better, I promise. Wanna know why? BECAUSE HIDAN AND KAKUZU FINALLY SHOW UP!


	4. But you don't even wear tennis shoes!

Note: Now here's a big fat happy shout-out to Hyuuga'sLover. Why? Because Hotel California has been IDENTIFIED!!! So, what shall I give you in return...

Ryuu: A three?

Eh...no.

Ryuu: A CHEESE!

Maybe.

Ryuu: A foof?

NO! So, anyway, just tell me if you want a three, a cheese, a foof (snort) or something else.

Eh...does anybody have any friends who like scary Naruto parodies? Because I need reviews. feels n00bish

-:-

Apples are red

Limes are green

I don't own _Naruto_

Except for in my dreams.

-:-

"Shhhh...come on, let's come in before anyone notices."

"Hidan, you're a freak."

"I wasn't the one who made us late! Now let's hurry in before—oh crap."

Zetsu stood in the doorway, staring at Hidan and Kakuzu. "You guys are five days late. Not exactly what I would expect from Hidan."

"We would've been the first ones here," Hidan bragged.

"Then why aren't you?" Zetsu sniggered.

"Because Kakuzu decided to stop at FIFTEEN DAMN PAWN SHOPS ON THE WAY HERE!"

"But I needed the cash!" Kakuzu complained.

"...for what?"

"Uh...stuff?" Kakuzu guessed.

Ryuu pranced over. "YOU GUYS LIKE SODA, RIGHT?"

"Sure," Hidan replied.

"It doesn't cost anything, does it?" Kakuzu asked, looking worried.

"No," Ace scoffed.

"Okey-pokey, then," Ryuu said cheerily. "We can't have the punch, because Kisame is sleeping in it again." Sure enough, Kisame was curled up in the punch bowl, snoring like a lawn mower.

Until Ryuu walked over and started poking him. "SHARK DUDE SHARK DUDE SHARK DUDE CAN I BE IN THE AKATSUKI???"

"No," Kisame grumped.

"WHY???" Ryuu asked.

"Because you don't have a ring."

Ryuu walked over to Gaara. "Let's get married!"

"Whuh?"

Kisame smacked his hand to his forehead. "Not that ring...Orochimaru might still have his..."

Ryuu pranced over to him. "HEY DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR AKATSUKI RING?"

"...yes?"

"CAN I HAVE IT???"

"No."

"PLEASE???"

"No."

Ace rolled her eyes. "Calm down, Ryuu, I'll get it for you." She looked down, and when she looked up, she gave Orochimaru a puppy dog face worthy to...I dunno, some dog. (1)

"Here," Orochimaru said, giving Ryuu the ring.

"Squee how cool!" Ryuu squealed.

"That's how I got in!" Tobi said happily.

"Yeah, you found my ring," Sasori grumbled.

"Yeah!" Tobi squeaked.

Ryuu pranced over to Sir Leader. "HEY LOOKIE HERE I GOT A RING AM I IN THE AKATSUKI NOW???" A cloak and a hat fell from the sky and landed on Ryuu. "W00ties!" she said, walking over to Gaara. "WE HAVES TO KILL J00 AGAIN," she yelled.

_Again?_ Gaara thought. _This can only mean..._

"Just kidding!" Ryuu yelled, glomping him.

"Ryuu, don't ever do that again," he muttered.

"But I'm in the Akatsuki now!" Ryuu protested. _I can't wait to kill Naruto..._

"Let's tell a story!" Takaya hollered. "Start playing, Orochimaru!"

"No."

"A-wah."

**They kept arguing for a few hours, and then it was bedtime.**

"I'm sleeeeeeeeeeepy," Ryuu whined, rolling over and falling asleep on Gaara.

"...um?" Gaara mumbled.

"Pssst! Ryuu!" Takaya whispered. Ryuu snored. "Aw, you're asleep! I'll sleep too." Takaya rolled over and started sleeping. She kept rolling, and she rolled towards the stairs. THUMP THUMP THUMP. Takaya rolled down the stairs and out the door. She kept rolling, and she eventually rolled into the street.

"Yeah, she's finally gone," Orochimaru mumbled. Takaya materialized back in the room.

"Did you say something, honey-pie?"

"No."

"Okay. I'll sleep now." Takaya rolled under the table and started snoring. Really loudly, too.

"Pssst! Zetsu!" Deidara whispered.

"What?"

"Ryuu and Takaya are sleeping!"

"No way!" Itachi squeaked.

"Let's poke them with sticks!" Sir Leader announced.

Everybody except for Rayne, Ace, Ryuu and Takaya woke up.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Sasori asked.

"We're poking them with sticks!" Sir Leader said, clapping his hands.

"Ooh!" Sasori said, pulling up a chair and watching.

Sir Leader grabbed a stick and poked Ryuu.

"I want a muffin too," Ryuu whined. She started sobbing. In her sleep.

"Wow," Zetsu mumbled.

"Now let's poke Takaya," Itachi whispered. Sir Leader took the stick and poked her.

"I don't wanna buy your weight loss products, Mr. Shnortzenburger," (2) Takaya mumbled, grabbing the stick and breaking it in half.

"Alright, let's stick to poking Ryuu."

**In the morning...(Hey, isn't that the name of a song?)**

"I can't believe Ryuu and Takaya slept last night."

"It was kinda scary."

"Wanna poke them again?"

"Yeah, but let's not poke Takaya."

"Okay."

Deidara grabbed a long stick and started poking Ryuu.

"Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop," she mumbled.

"...okay," everyone said.

Zetsu poked Ryuu with a different stick.

"BLEHOOGALAH!" she yelped, waving her arms and legs in the air.

"She's scaring me," Deidara mumbled.

"Yeah," Itachi agreed.

"Yeah, a person mumbling in her sleep is REALLY scary," Sasori sarcastically muttered.

"I know!"

"Hey, where's Sir Leader?"

"Is this microphone on?" Sir Leader asked, talking into a carrot.

"...that's a carrot."

Takaya woke up and started ringing a bell. "DAY SIX, Y'ALL!"

"Huh-wha?" Kisame asked, falling out of the punch bowl.

"Damn," Orochimaru cursed. "I thought the party was over."

"Idiot," Rayne scoffed. "The party is NEVER over!"

"I wanna go," Zetsu complained.

"If you try, Ryuu will wake up and she'll make you guys tell the story of Chateau Akatsuki...again," Takaya giggled.

"On second thought, what are we doing today?" Zetsu asked.

"I was thinking abut having another mosh pit," Takaya suggested. "Or dancing. Or even...STORYTIME!"

"No!" Gaara moaned. "Anything but that!"

"Are we ever going to get to leave?" Orochimaru asked.

"NO!" Takaya yelled. "Hit it, Rayne!"

Rayne started playing the theme from _Jaws _on her violin. (3)

Takaya crept over to Orochimaru and Gaara and sang along.

"Ahem!" Kisame coughed. "That's my job!"

**Meanwhile, back at the microphone...**

"Can we tell a story I know?" Sir Leader asked.

"And what would that be, Mr. Poople-Doop?" Ryuu asked, sounding like a kindergarten teacher.

"...um...uh..."

"Spit it out!" Ryuu ordered.

Sir Leader spat out a tooth.

"Ew, not that," she scoffed.

Sir Leader was silent.

"WHAT SONG, DARNIT???"

"...the one about the Avenue of Busted Imaginings." (4)

"We can't tell that story! It has a very bad word in it!"

"I know..." Sir Leader sobbed.

"Is that the only one you know?"

"Actually..." Sir Leader mumbled. He grabbed a guitar and started talking with his strumming. "Okay everyone, one time we all gathered around a campfire and sang a song."

"A song about a campfire song!" Ryuu squealed.

"We sang the song a lot faster than this story."

"But listen along or something," Ace said.

Ryuu leaned over to Gaara and sang, "Dun dun duuuuuuuun!"

"So then I spelled campfire song. You spell it like C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G! But I can actually sing it much faster. But enough about me! Ryuu!"

"What's a song? And what's a C-M-P-A-F-R-I-E S-O-N-G campfire song thingy???"

"Eh...how about you, Gaara?"

Gaara ignored him.

"But it will help if you listen along!" (5)

Takaya, Rayne, and another girl sat at a table together. The new girl wore a black tank top, black leather pants (which were long pants on one leg and short shorts on the other leg) and a black choker. Her lemon-colored, thick hair reached her shoulders. Underneath was a turquoise layer of hair that was tied in a long ponytail. She wore a funky eye patch. The part over her eye was silver, with the Konoha symbol on it.

"Hey, dawgs, I enjoyed it!" Rayne said. "You guys are great! Yeah!"

"I thought it was pretty good," the unknown girl said. "But Sasuke needs to get up there, too!"

"Who the heck are you?" Takaya asked rudely.

"Her name is Naotaka," Rayne explained. "She's my other character, whom I created for the sake of a third judge. She's a Sasuke fangirl, but she's smart and uses her brain instead of shrieking."

"Just how smart are we talking?" Takaya asked.

"Her IQ is 500," Rayne said proudly.

"Doesn't that automatically make me a Mary-Sue?" Naotaka asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Yeah, but nobody ever points it out," Rayne said. "I just did that so somebody could be smarter than Shikamaru." (6)

"Okay..." Naotaka mumbled. "Just call me Nao. And isn't it Takaya's turn?"

"Oh yeah." Takaya adopted a snooty British accent. "Sir Leader. It was a fun performance, but it just went all over the place, like vomit all over Zetsu's cloak during the first day."

"Heeeeeeeeey!" Zetsu complained.

"Good job!" Nao said to Takaya. "A millionty billionty percent for you! Hehe..."

"Yayz!" Takaya squealed. "Waitz! Raynez, youz saidz shez wasz smartz!"

"Oh, she is," Rayne assured her. "She just gets on sugar high reeeeeeeeeeeeally easily."

Ryuu jumped onto the table. "HOORAY FOR THE PARTY!" She turned on the radio and started dancing. "DANCE LIKE YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR!"

Everybody danced...except for Zetsu.

"Couch potato! Why aren't you dancing?"

"I don't want to," Zetsu pouted.

"But what does your other personality want?" Ryuu asked, leaning into his face. Which was a kinda dangerous thing to do.

"I WANT TO SHAKE MAH BOOTY!" Zetsu yelled.

"ZetsuB wins!" Ryuu squeaked.

ZetsuA started sobbing.

"Zetsua and Zetsub!" Takaya said happily.

"Yay!" Nao yelled, drinking about a gallon of soda. "Heh, shucks, guys, I'm not on sugar high..." She stumbled across the floor and landed on Itachi.

"Yay!" Itachi said, giving her a hug.

"Oops, wrong Uchiha," Nao mumbled, becoming sober and going off to find Sasuke. She found him! OMG! "Hey, Sasuke," she muttered.

Sasuke looked confused. "How did I get here?"

"Ryuu and Takaya invited everyone, and whenever people try to leave, Ryuu tells the story of Chateau Akatsuki."

"Whatever," Sasuke muttered.

"You're really emo, aren't you?" Nao asked.

"Pretty much."

**Meanwhile, on the other side of the room...**

Ryuu was sleeping in some dark spot.

"Geez, my gourd feels really heavy today," Gaara mumbled. He took off his gourd and shook it. Ryuu fell out. "That doesn't even make sense."

**Meanwhile, back...somewhere else...**

"I want Pepsi," ZetsuA said.

"I want Dr. Pepper!" ZetsuB whined.

"PEPSI!"

"DR. PEPPER!"

Ace walked over and poured Pepsi and Dr. Pepper into the same glass. "There. Now stop arguing with yourself. You KNOW what happened last time."

**FLASHBACK**

"No, pink is better!" ZetsuA yelled.

"PURPLE!" ZetsuB argued.

The entire Zetsu exploded. "Uh, can someone put me back together?"

**END FLASHBACK**

"I still have stitches," ZetsuA fussed.

"No you don't," ZetsuB scoffed.

Nao walked over. "You should've changed your face from black and white to pink and

"What a neat idea!" ZetsuA exclaimed.

"Aww, Zetsua, you're so nice!"

"It's ZetsuA, but thanks!"

"No, it's a stupid idea," ZetsuB said.

"Zetsub, you suck," Nao said.

"I do not," ZetsuB said. "And it's ZetsuB."

"Yeah, whatever." Nao looked around and saw Sasuke at the punch bowl. "I want punch."

Takaya popped up in front of her. "Nao, Nao, Nao! Wanna spike the punch???"

"That depends," Nao mumbled. "Is Sasuke done drinking the punch?"

"Yes?" Takaya said, sounding unsure.

"Alright," Nao said. "So, the punch is lemon-lime flavored, right?"

"Let's spike it with lemonade and limeade!" Takaya squealed.

"Nah," Nao said. "It's better to use something weird, so when people drink it, they freak out."

"Good idea!" Takaya squealed.

"So, wanna spike it with vinegar?" Nao suggested.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeees!"

"RYUU WANT SPIKE PUNCH TOO," Ryuu hollered.

"Ryuu can spike the punch," ZetsuA said.

"Eh, she's not as good as Takaya, though," ZetsuB said.

"Yes she is!"

"No she isn't!"

"YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!" Ace shrieked.

Zetsu sat down.

"Good boy. Who wants a Kuwabara?" Ace asked.

"Arf!" Zetsu barked.

Ace reached into a bag and pulled out a Kuwabara, which she tossed at Zetsu's mouth.

Ryuu started breakdancing.

"I didn't know you could breakdance," Gaara commented.

"I can't," Ryuu scoffed. "Geez, stop jumping to conclusions!"

"If you can't breakdance, then what are you doing?" Gaara asked.

"I'm tying my shoe!" Ryuu said proudly.

"Ryuu, you don't even wear tennis—eh, I give up."

-:-

Hehe! Nao has finally made her appearance! Which is good, since Ace and I were about to go insane from all the contact with idiots. Hooray!

(1) I know Ace in real life, and believe me, she is the master of puppy faces.

(2) Mr. Shnortzenburger...It's part of a _Pirates of the Caribbean_ roleplay. Mr. Shnortzenburger has no real significance, but if I want someone to say something random, I just have them say, "Mr. Shnortzenburger, your diet pills suck!" or something like that. I don't even know what Jerald Shnortzenburger looks like.

(3) Sorry, but I can't REALLY play that song. I've been looking for the sheet music for a while, but I can't really find it anywhere.

(4) Again, what is this song? Should be rather easy,

(5) Everyone should be able to figure out this one. It's pretty durn obvious.

(6) FEAR MY SENSELESS, MEANINGLESS, AND ALL-AROUND RUDE BASHING!


	5. The end! Sob!

Note: Okay, Hyuuga'sLover gets a free Deidara chibi!

-:-

I regret to say that this is the LAST chapter of this party (sob)! But don't worry. Ace and I have a second party going over e-mail which is over 130 pages long. I'll start putting it up soon.

-:-

Ryuu looked around. She saw Kakuzu, and then she saw Hidan. "Which one should I bother?" she wondered aloud. "Eeny, meeny, miney, mo!" She walked over to Hidan.

"Eh?" he said. "Ryuu, what do you want?"

"You're like invincible, right?" she asked, pressing her face up against his.

Hidan looked pleased. "Well, I don't like to brag, but yes."

"CAN I STAB YOU, THEN?" Ryuu asked, continuing the face-pressing.

"What? No!"

"Come ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo—" Ryuu drawled. Hidan slapped duct tape over her mouth. "—oooooooooooooooooo—" she continued, but her voice was muffled. "—oooooooooooooooooooooon!"

"Are you done?" Gaara asked. Ryuu nodded. Gaara ripped the tape off.

"Alrighty," Ryuu said. "So, Hidan, wanna go attack Kakuzu?"

Hidan perked up. "HELL YEAH!" The two pranced off to attack an unsuspecting Kakuzu.

"Sasori?" Takaya yelled. "Are you hot?"

"Does Rayne think I am?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Rayne yelled. "I even thought you were hot before I knew what you looked like!" (1)

"...thank you?" Sasori mumbled.

"You are quite welcome," Rayne said, going off to be weird somewhere else.

"So, where's she going?" Sasori asked, watching Rayne prance off while singing some screamo song. (2)

"I dunno. So, wanna attack somebody?"

Like Hidan, Sasori perked up. "Who?"

"Itachi?" she suggested.

"Sure," Sasori said. The two of them skipped off merrily to attack Itachi, or, as Rayne affectionately calls him, Itchy.

"Wow, Takaya flirts with everything in pants," Nao commented as she watched the battle with Rayne.

"Look down," Rayne said. Nao looked down and noticed that she and Rayne were wearing pants. (3)

"Good point," Nao said. "Every male specimen in pants?"

"Not all of them," Rayne mumbled as she watched the battle commence.

"Sasori, I need backup here!" Takaya screamed.

"I'm a puppet."

"Oh yeah. Well can you at least support me?"

Rayne and Nao set up a makeshift stand. "We're selling Takaya merchandise for five bucks apiece," Nao explained.

Sasori scanned the merchandise. "I'll take a foam finger."

"My patented finger or a normal one?"

"Yours please."

Rayne passed him a lime green foam finger with its middle finger pointing up. It read, "BOO ITACHI!"

"Hey, thanks for the foamiddle finger!" he said.

"Um, pay me a hundred bucks, because foamiddle is my patented word. If you wanna say it, you have to put a © after it." (4)

"I'm not going to pay the Patent Tax," Sasori scoffed.

Rayne was spontaneously sporting a T-shirt that read, "The Authoress Who Can Do Whatever She Wants."

Sasori paid her.

"Puh-lease, how pathetic," Sakura scoffed.

"Okay, I won't tax you, since everybody says puh-lease and I can't patent that." (5)

"But I didn't even say foamiddle!"

"For your impertinence, you must pay me one hundred dollars," Rayne sneered, pointing at her T-shirt. Sakura paid her.

"Ack!" Maisha screamed, hiding behind Tenten. "It's Sakura! Save me!"

"Quick question, Maisha," Tenten said, turning around to stare at Maisha. "Why do you always hide behind me whenever Sakura and Sasuke are around?"

"Not always. Sometimes I try to destroy them, but I don't destroy Sakura because her legs are all white and look really geeky against her black shorts in Shippuuden."

Sakura turned around. "Tenten, why are you here?"

"She's my maid of honor!" Maisha squealed. "Itachi and I are getting married, so she needs to be here."

"What, what about me?" Itachi said, walking over.

"Hey, wasn't Takaya beating you up?" Tenten asked.

"WHA—AT?" Maisha shrieked. "SHE WAS BEATING UP MY HUSBAND???"

"Yeah, about that. I think we have to wait, since you're underage and all."

Maisha started trying to beat up Itachi.

Ryuu walked over to Sasori and popped his arms off. "I need to borrow these." Then, she pranced back to Hidan.

"Hehe, let's do this," he said. Ryuu used Sasori's arms to grab Kakuzu's wallet. "Ryuu, why are we using Sasori's arms?"

"Duh," Ryuu said. "Kakuzu smells bad!" With that, she snatched up the wallet and dangled it over the punch bowl. She dropped it in.

Unfortunately, right as the wallet started falling, Kisame decided it was a good time for a nap. He looked around. The couch, no. The bed, no. The floor, no. Hey! How about a nap in the punch bowl? And, alas, the wallet landed on him. Kakuzu, being gifted at sniffing out money, noticed.

"I'LL RIP YOUR HEART OUT!" Kakuzu snarled, attacking Kisame.

"I'M A DELICATE LITTLE FISHY!"

On the other side of the room, Rayne whispered, "Guys, my friend is mad and called me a jerk."

"We're two of a kind!" Deidara yelled. He looked down and noticed that Rayne's fingernails were painted lime green. (6) "J00 ARE MY SOULMATE!"

"AAAH!" Rayne screamed. "You're almost as bad as Kuwabara! But wait, Kuwabara is freaky and ugly and you're hot and awesome. But, um, I'M TOO IMMATURE FOR THIS!" (7)

Deidara started chasing her.

"Quick, Nao!" Takaya said. "Let us run and guh-lance © at them running!" (8)

Rayne somehow outran Deidara. "Aw, I feel so lonely," he said.

"Aw, it's okay, you have a lot of fangirls out there," Ryuu said.

"You think?"

"I dunno. I'm just trying to make you happy through a friendly conversation is all."

"Did Ryuu just say a word longer than three letters?" Gaara asked.

"Random smart moment," Ace said.

"PIE!" Ryuu squealed.

"Good old three-letter words," Ace sighed.

"WHAT'S A THREE?"

"I like pop-up books!" Rayne said.

"Uh...me too?" Deidara guessed.

"And Ryuu fell out the window," Takaya said sarcastically.

"But she did," everyone said at once.

"Really? Lemme try again. AND WE CAN AFFORD THE RICH ASS HOUSE." (9) 

Takaya was excited. "I was actually sarblaaaaaaaaastic!"

"One Mississippi second here," Rayne said. "Since when is there a new word for that?"

"How long is a Mississippi second?" asked Ryuu, bonking Hidan for no apparent reason.

"Ouch, man."

"THAT'S WOAH-MAN TO YOU, MISTER!" Ryuu sniffed.

"Attention!" Takaya announced. "I'm holding auditions for my band of raconteurs!"

"I'm the manager!" Rayne said excitedly.

Everybody ran away except for Nao, Takaya and Deidara.

"I feel so unloved," Tobi sighed.

"Wanna be in our band?" Takaya asked.

"We thought you loved us!" Sasori, Orochimaru and Zetsu shouted.

"You can try out too," Rayne said, dropping pieces of paper with everyone's names in a hat. "Okay, there are only two spots, since Takaya and Nao automatically get to be in the band." She stuck her hand in the hat. "Deidara!

"Hats love me!"

"And Sasori!" (10)

"I guess I can hold auditions too," Ryuu said. "So, I have a magician hat! If you pull out a bunny, you're in the band! If you pull out a poisonous snake, you're dead!"

"Just draw names," Ace groaned.

"I wanna be in the band!" Spirit shouted. "I can play the drums!"

Ryuu wrote "Deer" on a piece of paper.

"I guess I'll audition," Zetsu said.

Ryuu wrote "Flowerman" on another piece of paper.

"Me too," Ace said.

Ryuu wrote down "Doo-doo Head."

"Me!" Hidan yelled.

Ryuu wrote down "Mister."

"I want in too!" Itachi said.

Ryuu wrote down "Huggy."

Ace reached into the hat. "The first band member is...Ryuu!"

"NO WAY," Ryuu said "sarblaaaaaastically."

"The second member is..." Ace reached into the hat, "...Hidan!"

"I like rule," Hidan said.

"Zetsu! And finally...Spirit!"

"Okay, Nao, what can you do?" Takaya asked.

"I can play the tambourine," she said with a shrug.

"I get the bongos!" Takaya said. "Deidara?"

"Guitar, I guess."

"Sasori?"

"Piano."

**Meanwhile, back with the other band...**

"Spirit, what can you do?"

"Drums!" Spirit whinnied.

"Okay," Ryuu said. "I get to play guitar." She started scribbling on a piece of paper. "Zetsu?"

"Backup singer," Zetsu said.

"I guess that makes me the lead singer," Hidan said proudly.

"EVERYONE SINGS!" Ryuu bellowed, bonking him on the head. She noticed Gaara trying to sneak away. "Gaara! You're in the band! And you play piano!

"Fine," Gaara said. Ryuu started scribbling rapidly on her paper. "Ryuu, what are you writing?" Gaara asked, snatching up the paper.

It was a very poorly drawn picture. In one corner, Spirit was pounding on the drums. In another corner, a very emo-looking Gaara (with a frown so big it went off his face) playing the piano, a much-larger Ryuu playing the guitar, and Hidan and Zetsu screaming into microphones. (11)

"Ryuu, that's very disturbing." 

Maisha pushed Gaara out of the way and started playing the piano. "Yay!"

"B-but Gaara touched it!" Karehamuke stuttered.

Gaara looked up. "Oh, Singe, Karehamuke destroyed your cookie stash."

A short, squat anthro kitty with a cookie-printed robe looked up. "MY COOKIES???" She started attacking Karehamuke.

"Ew, he's bleeding on my robe," Hidan said, taking off his robe. He was only wearing underwear underneath.

"HOLY CR—" Ryuu yelled, fainting onto the floor.

"Hidan!" Itachi gasped. "That's rude! Put pants on!"

"No!" Hidan shouted. He jumped onto the table and wrapped the tablecloth around him. "TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!"

"Way too much punch," Ace said, shaking her head.

Maisha looked over at Hidan. "ACK!" she screamed. "MY EYES ARE BURNING!"

As Maisha screamed about her burning eyes, there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" Ryuu yelled, opening the door, "Who the hell are you?"

"Hey, I heard there was a party here," some guy said.

"Sorry, this is a _Naruto _party," Ryuu explained. "No _Wolf's Rain _characters are allo—"

"OOH!" Ace squealed. "Is that Tsume? Let him in let him in let him in!"

Ryuu turned to Tsume. "I HATE YOU." she said, while smiling a goofy smile (which was her trademark). Nevertheless, she opened the door and let the _Wolf's Rain _characters in.

As they walked in, Ryuu wandered over to the table and poured herself a glass of spiked, slept-in punch.

"So, what's up?" Hige asked.

Ryuu spat punch all over the table. "ARE YOU, LIKE, FLIRTING WITH ME???"

"Wha? No—I was just saying hi!"

"I'm the better Kiba," Kiba of the _Naruto _universe argued.

"No, I am," the other Kiba said. "I'm hotter."

"I have a dog!" Kiba 1 snapped.

"Oh yeah?" Kiba 2 snarled. "Well I'm a wolf!"

"Oh yeah?" Kiba 1 echoed. "Come on, Akamaru, let's show him what dogs can do!"

"Sorry, I'm a cat," Akamaru said as he clawed up Kisame's favorite couch.

"IS IT DAY 48???" Ryuu asked, sticking her head between the two Kibas.

"You can't count," Hige said.

"DO I KNOW YOU???" Ryuu bellowed.

"No..."

"THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!" she screamed, shooing him away.

Hige walked over to Ace. "What's her problem?"

Ace sighed. "She doesn't like people from other anime. She'll start trying to kill you if you stay much longer."

"Bye!" they all said. Ryuu grabbed a boatload of shoes and started chucking them out the windows.

"I think the party's over," Maisha said. "And it's not just because Itachi dumped me."

Karehamuke bounced over. "Ooh, if he dumped you, then—"

"So I'll just sleep until the party's over," Maisha interrupted. "Karehamuke, you too."

"I'm leaving for a phone conversation," Ebonie said. All of her characters wandered over to Maisha and also started sleeping.

"I'm bored," Gaara muttered.

Sir Leader walked over to him. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO DDR!"

"See?" Ryuu said. "I told you the party isn't over!" With that, she grabbed a party blower and blew it in Maisha's face. Maisha rolled over.

"Are we going to have that DDR contest?" Gaara asked. He and Sir Leader hopped onto the dnace floor and started blasting the music.

**After a heck of a lot of dancing...**

Sir Leader was curled on the floor in the fetal position.

"Ha," Gaara snorted. "That's what you get." He walked away.

"We're bored," Itachi said, "and Naruto is scratching on the door to get in.

A light bulb popped up above Ace's head. "Follow my lead..."

"Naruto!" Ryuu squealed in a falsetto. "You can come in!"

As Naruto rushed in, everyone else rushed out and locked the door from the outside.

"HE'S TRAPPED!"

"So..." the _Wolf's Rain_ characters mumbled, "can we be in the party?" They all employed puppy faces, and being wolves, they were very good at them.

"Okay," Ace said. "Don't eat the snacks."

"We're outside," Zetsu said.

"Oh yeah."

"ANYWAY," Ryuu interjected. "SINCE THE PARTY IS ALMOST OVER, OUR RACONTEURS WILL TELL A FEW MORE STORIES."

Spirit rushed over to the drums, Hidan and Zetsu rushed over to the microphones, Ryuu rushed over to the guitar, and Gaara slowly walked towards the piano. In another corner, Takaya rushed over to the bongos, Nao walked over to the tambourine, Sasori walked towards the piano, and Deidara walked toward the guitar.

Maisha was roused by their tuning. "NO! I SAID THE PARTY'S OVER!"

And then the party was over.

**THE END.**

Note: Aah! The party is over! Don't worry. When I have more time and my keyboard stops acting like a poo, I'll start uploading the second party. That one's a lot sillier, with more OCs. And since Ebonie and Maisha aren't in it, it's over 150 pages so far.

(1) Yes, now I know what Sasori looks like, and yes, I still think he's hot.

(2) I love screamo music.

(3) Actually, I was wearing Bermuda shorts when I typed that, but I AM wearing full-length blue jeans right now.

(4) To make a long story short, when I was on a school trip, I saw this one guy staring at me, and I said to my friend, "He's GUH-lancing at me!" So, I copyrighted it. I didn't formally copyright it, but my friends still say © after my words. In the second party, Takaya patents a word, so even I have to say ©.

(5) I tried to copyright everything like that, like guh-lance, puh-lease, tuh-rees...

(6) That was the last color my fingernails were painted. I need a manicure NOW.

(7) I wrote this in like the beginning of April, okay? I know it seems hypocritical, since I gave Hyuuga'sLover the Deidara chibi, but play along. And again, my friend was mad at me, and I needed something to keep my mind busy. I do luff Deidara, though. I think it's the hair.

(8) Again, the school trip thingy.

(9) Okay. One time I was playing Sims with Ace, and we created an extremely fancy house called Rich Ass. As for the window thing, Ace and I looked around the house and pretended to give Ryuu and Takaya a tour, and suddenly the screen swiveled around and we were outside the house, so as a joke, Ace yelled, "GUYS! I FELL OUT THE WINDOW!"

(10) I actually did draw Deidara's name and Sasori's name out of hats. I think it was a golden-brown fuzzy newsboy cap.

(11) One time Ace and I were bored, so we drew that picture. My version and her version were equally disturbing. Takaya's art is also disturbing, but in a different way...You'll find out in the second party.

Now, as Takaya would say, "GOODBYE EVERYONE, AND HAVE A GOSH-DARNED GOOD LIFE!"


	6. Haha! Just kidding!

Note: Haha. I was originally going to make this another story, but I changed my mind and decided to add it to my original story.

And I think I may have some spoilers in here. **DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE BEING SPOILED.**

-:-

A silver-haired girl crept through a dark house. Like the insane narrator from _The Tell-Tale Heart_, she was infinitely stealthy. She crept without a sound, taking great caution to be invisible.

She reached the door, placing her fishnet-clad hand on the knob. She oh-so slowly turned it...

The door opened. She walked in silently, watching two figures sleep in their beds. Oh, how sweetly they slumbered.

She flipped on the light. "Wake up, guys! I have this great idea!"

The first one, Takaya, sat up. "What is it?" she asked eagerly.

The second girl, Nao, looked up drowsily. "Huh?"

"I have an amazing idea!" Rayne continued, clapping her hands excitedly. "Since Ebonie's not here anymore, we can have another party!"

Takaya jumped out of bed. "That's the best idea ever!" she shouted, dancing across the floor.

"Are you inviting Sasuke?" Nao asked, sitting up all the way.

"Of course," Rayne shrugged.

"Yay!" Nao shouted, dancing with Takaya.

"I'll call them," Takaya said, picking up a purple phone with blue buttons.

"Give it back!" a hooded figure snapped, marching off. (1)

"Here," Rayne said. Takaya dialed Mrs. Muffin.

"Hi, we're having another party! We already have a punch bowl for Kisame, soda for human consumption, ice cream for more consumption, and karaoke for entertainment, but we need some muffins!"

"All right," Mrs. Muffin said. "I'll be right over."

Five seconds later, their doorbell rang.

"I have the muffins you wanted!" Mrs. Muffin said.

"Cool!" Takaya said, putting the muffins on their Talking Table. (2)

"Yay, muffins!" the table squealed.

"I don't get it, and neither does Ace," Rayne grunted.

"So, twenty bucks, please," Mrs. Muffin said, holding her hand out. Takaya gave her a high five. "No, pay me twenty bucks."

"But that's more than thirty bucks!" Takaya shouted, looking horrified and making no sense. To end Takaya's utter stupidity, Rayne paid for the muffins.

Takaya used that time to call Ryuu. "Hi, Ryuu! We're having another party! Get everyone else and bring them to my place!"

"We'll be right over!" Ryuu promised, hanging up.

Another five seconds passed, and then the doorbell rang.

"HI, LOOK LOOK LOOK," Ryuu yelled, pointing at all the Akatsuki members standing behind her.

"Hey, Rayne," Ace said, taking a much more sophisticated approach.

"Geez, the first party was terrible, so why should this one be any better?" ZetsuA asked boredly.

"Are you kidding? Let's party!" ZetsuB argued. Since Ryuu is a dopey party animal, she picked ZetsuB as the winner and tried to get everyone to party.

Deidara walked in. "Yay, Gaara's not here, AND Rayne's here!"

Gaara walked over. "Oh, I'm not here, am I?" Deidara nervously started sputtering about how Gaara didn't hear him right. "Oh, I heard," Gaara said. "Every single word."

"I'M SORRY!"

Everyone stared. What would Gaara do? Would he ignore Deidara's apology? Would he accept it? Would he kill Deidara?

Gaara smiled. "Yay! That's all I ever really wanted!"

"Holy crap!" Itachi cried.

Everyone stared at Gaara. He claimed to love no one. He was freaking scary. Now he was smiling and accepting Deidara's apologies? They all backed away. Except for Ryuu, who didn't have enough of a brain to do that.

"Aw, he's all loveable!" she squealed, glomping him. Shockingly, Gaara hugged her back.

Ace fell over. "Houston, we have the biggest problem known to man."

By this time, Itachi had caught on. "Ooh, are we hugging?" he asked, holding his arms out to Kisame.

Kisame looked around. "I...uh...I...oh, what the hell?" He hugged Itachi back.

Hidan turned to Kakuzu angrily. "How come we don't get along like that?"

"We're just not those types of people," Kakuzu shrugged, looking away.

"But I thought we could be friends!"

Kakuzu sighed. "Okay, but a quick one." They quickly hugged.

"I feel loved!" Hidan squealed.

Putting an end to the happiness, Sasori hissed, "Ryuu, I hate you."

"WHYYYYYYYYY?" Ryuu sobbed, sounding absolutely dumbfounded.

"Because you nailed my leg to Kankuro's chair!" he growled. "Do you have any idea how loud this guy snores?"

"At least it's only snoring," Kankuro snapped. "You squeak!"

"Oh gee, tell my secret to the whole world, why don't you?" Sasori snarled back.

"What a wonderful start to the second party," Ace sighed. "Another day, another bloodthirsty argument."

"Guess who I invited?" Takaya asked, pressing her face into Ace's. "Come on, Ace, guess like you mean it!"

"I really don't want to know," Ace muttered, walking away. "Just have them come in."

"Okay," Takaya said dumbly. "Come on in, homie!"

Kuwabara walked into the room. "Is this the party?" he asked eagerly.

A vein started throbbing in Rayne's neck. "Takaya, I'm going to kill you. Why the hell did you invite him?"

"So we could watch you kill him!" Takaya said excitedly. "You know...entertainment?"

"Oh, okay," Rayne said, the vein going back down to its original size. "In that case..."

Takaya walked over to the table and picked up a potato chip muffin, courtesy of Mrs. Muffin.

"I'm done," Rayne said, walking over to the table. Kuwabara was a mangled mess on the floor.

Nao walked by and swept him out the door with a broom.

"Ignoring that, how about you and your raconteur friends tell us another story?" Rayne suggested, leaning against a wall.

"No!" Sasori shouted, shoving Rayne out of the way.

"Okay," Takaya agreed, lovingly staring at him. "It's about time for me to spike the muffins again."

She walked over to the chocolate chip muffins, removed the chocolate chips, and dropped sleeping pills on it. "Hehe."

"Well heaven help me," Nao sighed. "Takaya actually spiked the punch the right way this time."

"I still have a better idea," Rayne said, dropping a pill in the punch. As the pill dissolved, she stirred the punch around with a spoon. "Thank you, solubility."

Nao stared at her. "Rayne, what was that?"

"Angry ape drug," Rayne shrugged.

"I see."

Zetsu walked over. "Hey, a dead body! Mmmmmmm..."

"Guys!" Ace yelled. "Zetsu's getting that cannibal look in his eyes!"

"Um..." Ryuu mumbled, raising her hand. "Teacher, what's a cannibal?"

"Someone who eats other people," Kakuzu said.

"And how do you know this?" Ryuu asked.

"Let's see...first, I know Zetsu," he sighed. "He gave me a description of which I was mostly asleep for. And second, I eat hearts."

Ryuu looked nervous. "Candy hearts, right?"

"Sure, why not?"

Hidan walked over and groaned. "Kakuzu, you're not scaring people again, are you?"

"OF COURSE NOT!" Kakuzu yelled. "What makes you think that?"

Hidan pointed over to the corner. Ryuu was huddled in the fetal position. "Then why is she scared?"

"You don't wanna know, man..." Ryuu moaned, rocking back and forth. "He-he-he..."

"Spit it out," Hidan said impatiently.

"HE EATS CANDY HEARTS!" Ryuu sobbed. "THEY'RE WORSE THAN REAL HEARTS! SO CHALKY!"

Hidan glared at Kakuzu.

Kakuzu smiled. "Candy heart?"

**Meanwhile, back at the door...**

"Please, Ace!" Naruto begged. "Let me into the party! I promise I'll be good, dattebayo!"

Ace paused. "I will if you let Kisame chop off one of your legs, let Zetsu eat the other, and let Sasori turn one of your arms into a puppet."

Naruto paused. "Oka—wait! Then I'll only have one arm and no legs!"

"Clever deduction, Sherlock," Ace snorted, leaning against the wall. "But the answer is still no."

Out of nowhere, Lee came flying through the air and landed on Naruto's back. "I shall not miss this party!" he declared.

"Okay," Ace agreed. "Just wipe your feet first."

With eagerness, Lee wiped his feet on Naruto and walked in.

**Meanwhile, back with Rayne...**

"Yeah, candy hearts are disgusting," Rayne grumbled.

"Yeah, candy hearts suck, un," Deidara agreed.

Orochimaru grinned an extremely grin. "I thought you were just telling me how much you loved them."

Takaya squealed. "Who's my sadistic honey-bun?" She tackled Orochimaru excitedly.

"I still can't believe Rayne put the angry ape drug in the punch," Nao muttered. "Anyone who touches the punch is going to turn into King Kong.

"What?" Kisame asked, climbing out of the punch bowl.

"Uh-huh!" Rayne cut in. "I dropped it in and swirled it around."

"But I'm not a monkey," Kisame argued. "I'm a shark. Nothing has happened to me at all."

Nao giggled. "Yeah, it has. You're purple."

"No I'm not!" Kisame snapped, ignoring his purple hands. Suddenly, without warning, he turned into a grape.

"Rayne..." Nao sighed. "That is the angry ape drug, right?"

Rayne blushed. "Oops. I put in the great grape drug."

Takaya walked over and looked at Kisame. "Are we putting on a food pyramid play?" Rayne started to open her mouth. "Great!" Takaya interrupted. "I'll go put on my costume!" That being said, she pranced up the stairs to put on her food pyramid suit.

She ran back dressed as a loaf of bread. "I am the Grains food group! I am the bottom of the food pyramid! You must have the most of me every day. Nine servings are preferable. I consist of pasta—"

Tobi opened the door. "Hey, guys!" He looked at Takaya. "Awesome! A food pyramid play! I'm so glad I brought my costume." He ran into the closet and came out dressed as a Twinkie. "Ahem."

"We don't have Twinkies in Japan," Sasuke muttered.

"TOO BAD," Tobi interjected. "I am Fats, Oils, and Sweets! I am the top of the food pyramid, so you shouldn't have much of me. I am unhealthy—"

"We're not putting on a food pyramid play!" Shikamaru snapped.

"Look at this jerk," Takaya sighed. "He's so tough. You know what that means, right, Tobi?"

"Oh yes..." Tobi cackled. "He gets to be...MEAT!"

"...help!"

"I SHALL HELP YOU!" Ryuu shouted, standing on top of a table.

"Yes," Shikamaru cheered.

"NOT."

"What a drag."

Ryuu seized him and threw a steak outfit on him. "Muahaha!"

Shikamaru pouted in the corner.

"Ace?" Ryuu asked shyly.

"What now, Ryuu?" Ace grumbled.

"Can I be a vegitibibel?"

"Vegetable, Ryuu, vegetable," Ace corrected.

"I WANNA BE A VEGITIBIBEL."

"Oh fine," Ace sighed, leading Ryuu into the closet. "I don't get paid enough for this job."

"You don't get paid at all!" Ryuu crowed, jumping out of the closet in her cabbage costume.

"Heh, Kisame is a grape," a newcomer laughed. "Yum. Grapes." She appeared to be a raccoon, but she was humanoid and wore an Akatsuki robe. "Hi, guys. I'm Raccoon."

"HI, RACCOON."

"I'm a grape!" Kisame squealed.

"He can be a grape for our pyramid!" Ryuu said excitedly.

"Why am I meat?" Shikamaru complained...as usual.

"BECAUSE YER TOUGHS."

"I want no part in this," Gaara muttered.

"TOO BAD!" Ryuu shouted, putting a cheese costume on him.

Gaara and Shikamaru pouted in the corner.

"Hey, can I be in the food pyramid?" Naruto asked.

Ryuu bonked him on the head. "ALL SEATS ARE TAKEN. And who let you in this party, anyway?"

Naruto pointed to the corner. Lee was standing at the door, letting every single person inside.

"This place is a piece of shit," Tayuya sniped.

"Tayuya, women should not use such language," Jiroubou replied.

"Shut up, fat ass."

"Great, these dorks," Sasuke complained.

"LEE!" Ace screamed. "STOP LETTING EVERYONE IN!"

"Okay!" Takaya interrupted. "Tobi is Fats, Oils, and Sweets; Shikamaru is Meat and Protein; Gaara is Milk Group; Kisame is Fruit Group; Ryuu is Vegetable Group; and I'm Bread Group! Now let's make a pyramid!"

"OK," everyone said.

"RAYNE!" Takaya coughed. "That's your cue!"

"Oh, sorry," Rayne said, creating eight Takaya clones. All nine Takayas crouched down. "Now for Ryuu..." She poofed up three more Ryuus so the four of them could crouch on the Takayas. She made two Kisames, two Gaaras, and one Shikamaru. Somewhat reluctantly, they all crouched on the pyramid.

"Yay!" Tobi squealed, climbing on top.

"This is so cute!" Rayne gushed, videotaping the pyramid.

"Wait!" Nao said, running over in a chunky white outfit. "I am high fructose corn syrup!"

"Shaddap, Nao," Rayne complained. "This isn't a Juicy Juice commercial!"

"I like Juicy Juice," Kisame said. "Next time you fill the punch bowl, consider Juicy Juice."

"Erm, I'll think about it," Rayne mumbled. "Oh crap, get away from the pyramid, Nao!"

Nao had started oozing on the pyramid.

"IT'S OOZY!" Takaya squealed. "I'm gonna roll in it like a Slip and Slide!" (3)

"NO!" everyone in the pyramid shouted. All nine Takayas stood up and jumped.

The pyramid collapsed, and the clones vanished.

"THERE WAS FOUR OF ME," Ryuu said excitedly.

"Thank God there aren't any more," Gaara grumbled.

"WHAT WAS THAT, CUDDLYPOOPS?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Hey, who are you?" Sasori asked Raccoon, since humanoid raccoons in Akatsuki robes are pretty hard to miss.

"I am not a 'you!'" Raccoon protested.

_Oh no, not another one..._Sasori thought.

"SO YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO CALL ME A 'YOU' AND THEN GIVE ME THE SILENT TREATMENT?" Raccoon bellowed at him. "HUH?" She spewed water all over him.

"No!" Sasori moaned. "I'm rusty!"

"Guess what I have?" Raccoon asked, dangling an oil can in front of his face.

"GIVE ME THAT!" Sasori yelled, grabbing for the oil can.

"You'll never get it!" Raccoon cackled. "Muahahahahaha!" She jumped onto the chandelier and dropped the oil can on Ryuu's head.

Ryuu jumped up. "OH NOES! THE SKY IS FALLING!"

"So..." Rayne mumbled. "You know what's fun? You twist a stem around on an apple or something while reciting the alphabet, and the letter it comes off on is the first letter of the person who's crushing on you's first name!"

"I think I'll try!" Takaya said, grabbing a pear. She started twisting the stem very slowly. "ABCDEFGHIJKLMN...OOOOOOOOOOO!" She yanked the stem off. "How sweet!" she squealed, glomping Orochimaru.

"...rigged."

"That's okay, Mr. Riggypants!"

"I think I'll try," Nao said. "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQR...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Takaya blowtorched the stem. "IT CAME OFF ON S!"

"But I don't like Nao," Sasori said.

"Shut up, Ghostiepants," Takaya sniffed, pushing Sasori.

"Curse you and your ability to touch gaseous ghosts!" Sasori yelled.

"YOU'RE GASSY???" Takaya screamed.

"No—I mean, not like that!"

Takaya put on a gas mask. "I'm sorry-ish, but I really don't wanna breathe ghost gas."

"Is it worse than my dog's gas?" Rayne asked, sticking her head between Takaya and Sasori.

"GHOSTS DON'T FART!" Sasori screamed.

Takaya's jaw dropped. "RAYNE, RAYNE, HE SAID FART!"

"Now Sasori," Rayne lectured. "You don't need to use dirty words."

"I give up."

**Meanwhile, back with Ryuu...**

"Hmm..." Ryuu said, placing her hand on her chin. "I think I'll try!" She grabbed a strawberry.

"Ryuu, I don't think—" Ace started to say.

"WHERE THE HELL IS THE STEM ON THIS STUPID THING?" Ryuu asked, chucking the strawberry out the window and grabbing Gaara's apple.

"Hey!"

"ABCD—" The stem popped off.

"Ryuu..." Ace sighed. "You don't PULL the stem. You twist it."

"LIKE THIS?" Ryuu asked, spinning the apple on the table.

"Spinny!" Tobi squealed.

"Like a ballerina!" Itachi agreed, doing a pirouette in the middle of the floor.

"Oh my, how am I ever going to un-see these images?" Ace asked, banging her head into the wall.

"Gee," Raccoon sniffed. "Am I the only sane person left in the Akatsu—DEER!" she squealed, seeing Spirit.

"I R POPULAR," Spirit whinnied.

_Wait..._Sasuke thought. _The stem came off at S...and Nao likes me..._He started creeping towards the door. He opened the door...

And Ryuu stood in the doorway, holding a guitar. "HOLD UP!"

"Oh crap, Chateau Akatsuki..."

-:-

Note: Muahaha! Cliffhanger!

(1) Only people who play the Sims will understand this.

(2) Hehe. Another Sims reference.

(3) Damn, I hate Slip and Slides so much.

Okay, I'll post the next chapter pretty soon. GOODBYE EVERYONE, AND HAVE A GOSH-DARNED GOOD LIFE UNTIL I UPDATE.

If you want to talk about how funny Ryuu, Raccoon and Ace are, you'll have to contact Ace. She's acepuma on Neopets and AkatsukiRaccoon on deviantArt.


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